There’s this J.D Salinger quote I came across the other day from his book ‘Franny and Zooey’ which went like this – “I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”
Strangely, I had been thinking about the importance of ‘respect’ in a relationship; it hit me that everyone is capable of loving another person but not everyone is capable of respecting the person who they’re in love with. It might have taken me a while to wholly absorb that but now that I’ve soaked it all in, I can look at things with a whole new perspective. I like this panorama better.
There are things that we often tend to overlook when we are in a certain mind frame. I would call mine ‘blinded by the love’ and I’ve never really been that kind of a girl who gets carried away easily but I happened to let so many things slide by from time to time. Now when I look back and think about them, they seem utterly ridiculous. It’s not even funny.
I wouldn’t want to go on jabbering about relationships or love because I’m no expert but what I’ve learnt is that the concept of ‘being in love’ and that of just ‘loving’ is independent of the other. The reason why we tend to stick with somebody’s perpetual shit is because we love them (no-matter-what) kind of love. You can fall out of love and not be emotionally connected but still love a person in that (I-wish-you-all-the-happiness-in-the-world) even-though-you-crossed-all-your-limits-and-just-fucked-off sort of way. Well, anyway, I think things don’t work out because they just aren’t meant to be (however clichéd that may seem) they just aren’t if you’ve put in all your effort and it just makes you feel like shit either way, it makes no sense then. Respect is the basis of any human relationship.
I’ve learnt to ‘let things be’ and I am in a much better place now.
I’m a big believer in signs that the universe seems to give out every now and then and the universe is seemingly winking at me and I’ll make sure I wink right back at it.
(P.S – Dear Serendipity, if you’re reading this – “You met me at a very strange time in my life” and yes, the stars are shooting, the sun’s shining brighter; and I love the moon more than ever)