Last night I couldn’t help but wonder: is it possible to exist somewhere in between of the possible and probable? The idea seemed a little off because in a way, you’re only doing things by halves. I don’t like doing things by halves.
Your picture of an ideal relationship might not match with mine. Although, I’m not quite sure if I have a picture or whether the concept of an “ideal relationship” even exists but I feel there’s got to be some ‘exclusivity’ in one.
As much as you strive to understand and be accommodating, you also need to be understood. There are so many different levels of the kind of bond you share with a specific person. It might not be at ‘level: max’ yet, but it might get there someday. Or it might just not. Things could seem withdrawn because of you-don’t-know-what reasons (you actually do know at the back of your head and you need to put it out there). Share things. Share worlds. Talk. Really talk. It’s okay to move from the constant need to come across as cool, calm and collected (in short, guarded). Let down your guard. Open up. It’s okay to be messy and unfiltered. You’d be appreciated.
That is not too much to ask for, is it?
This is so beautiful. Harvey Milk says:
“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.”