The two weeks ago level: Three years of college go by…just like that. One whole month of exams go by. Even people weirdly go by. I am a graduate. Honestly, I know it’s not that big of a deal and this is just the beginning of what’s yet to come, it’s only a brief opening of the bigger picture, there’s so much more to look forward to and all that jive but umm…it does make me feel like I cleared a level in a game or something.
The next level: Oh! So here’s the real deal. At least I think so at this point of my life. I won’t know for sure until I clear this weird, unfamiliar stage. I feel oblivious. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I now realize how I do not have it all chalked out like I thought I did. I try not to panic and I still do because it would feel abnormal if I wouldn’t. So I do. I stay up and I deep-think (not by choice, I wish I could get myself to sleep). I write this stupid post at 5:32 AM. I start to wonder if I’m going crazy, hell, I feel it. A really dear friend of mine starts to think I’m losing it and out of all the problems I might actually have chooses to assume that I have been possessed by some demonic power. Really? (stop Googling symptoms! Period). I start to make these ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ lists of my options on a daily basis. I over analyze my decisions. I worry. It’s like this strange, somewhat-like-an-adult-but-not-quite-there version of me.
Wow. It feels like I am on those Seafoam islands from Pokemon Fire Red that I always found highly annoying to get through.
I always got through them.
To be continued…