I am learning to welcome uncertainty and confusion. I am slowly learning to accept that emotional ups and downs are a price to pay for simply being alive. My face rests in sadness some days, but my happiness is obvious and loud. I’m frightened by the thought of living an inauthentic life but I wonder if I’ve been doing exactly that, unconsciously. I want to accept all parts of myself and not have experiences based on inaccurate beliefs. That would make my experiences inauthentic and my life would be nothing but a sham.
There is a poem by Rumi called ‘The Guest House’ in which he so eloquently gives the notion that every feeling and emotion one has is like a guest. Unexpected visitors do show up and stay for a while. The idea is to welcome them and learn what they may have to teach you; they may just lead you somewhere you really needed to get to.
-the late night novelist